Airborne Porn

You've got to know that this is bound to happen when you install Wi-Fi on commercial airliners like American Airlines is doing. So far 16 of their aircraft are testing the new systems that allow passengers to access the internet while in flight. Of course passengers aren't just checking PointNiner.com while airborne. Some are making visits to nudie sites which has got American Flight Attendants and fellow passengers concerned about the content. So as American Airlines, what do you do?

[MSNBC]

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Man Sues American For Losing His Dead Wife

Miguel Olaya simply wanted to bring the remains of his late wife back to their native Ecuador as her final resting place. Unfortunately, the airline lost his baggage wife along the way. Now Olaya is suing American Airlines and the funeral home in New York he made transportation arrangements with for negligence. The funeral home is pointing the blame towards American and claims that instead of sending the remains to Guayaquil in Ecuador, they accidentally sent it to Guatemala. Apparently the code for Guayaquil is GYE, not GUA which is Guatemala. That little bit of information may have helped a certain American Airlines employee. When Olaya went to the airport on April 1st to claim his wife's remains the airline told him it had been sent to the wrong country. Finally arriving four days later, the body was starting to decompose. Lovely.

[Fox News]

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Diddy Complains Jet Fuel Prices Are "Too Motherf----g High"

That's right, even celebrities are feeling the pinch of these high gas prices. So much so that Sean "Diddy" Combs published a video blog on YouTube to complain that it is starting to cramp his style. "Gas prices are too motherf-----g high," the hip-hop mogul proclaims. "As you know, I do have my own jet, but I've been having to fly back and forth to L.A. pursuing my acting career . Now, if I'm flying back and forth twice a month, that's like $200,000, $250,00 round trip. F--- that. I'm back on American Airlines!" Diddy even makes a plea to his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" to help him out and send him some fuel for his private jet. Somehow I don't think his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" or any Americans are going to have much sympathy for Diddy. He does' add later to the site, "Attention all media and hate bloggers. This blog is just me making a joke about gas prices. Loosen up." Not sure if that's going to work. You can check out the whole video below and make up your own mind.

WARNING: Audio is NSFW

[Fox News]

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American Slapped With Big Fine, Still Has Enough Cash For New Planes

Five months after the FAA started it's maintenance crackdown following the Southwest Airlines debacle, the agency is still at it. This time they've dropped the hammer on American Airlines with a $7.1 million fine for differing safety related maintenance items on their aircraft. They are alleging the airline flew two MD-83s 58 times last December while knowingly using the wrong provisions of its Minimum Equipment List (MEL). For both aircraft, the problems were noted by an FAA inspector or in the pilot's log, however, American maintenance returned both aircraft to revenue service only to make the fixes at a later date. Part of the fine also includes past deficiencies in its drug and alcohol testing programs and for allegedly operating aircraft in past years without timely inspections of emergency escape path lighting systems. The FAA is adamant with the high amount on the fine because they believe "the carrier did not follow important safety regulations intended to protect passengers and crew."

In an unrelated story from the same day, American sealed the deal with Boeing to finalize an order for an additional 26 Next-Generation 737-800s bringing their total on order to 36. The move comes as American desperately tries to jump start it's fleet renewal program amidst high oil prices with a fleet backbone of fuel hungry MD-80s.

[FAA and Boeing]

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Man gets naked, tackled by pro soccer team on AA flight

American Airlines flight 725 diverted to Will Rogers Airport in Oklahoma City on Friday during its trip from Boston to L.A. after a passenger on board decided to strip down to his birthday suit. The male passenger, whose name was not released, emerged from one of the 757's lavatories completely nude when he was immediately confronted by Craig Tornberg, General Manager of the New England Revolution, a Major League Soccer team enroute to play in Southern California. Tornberg told the AP, "I said he should get back into the bathroom and put on his clothes. He said something strange to me. He said, 'I don't hear you. I don't see you." I thought that line never worked anymore, but the man complied and got dressed before making a beeline for one of the aircraft's emergency exits. That's when Tornberg and other members of the Revolution subdued the man who was then strapped to a seat by flight attendants. The flight crew elected to divert to OKC where the man was taken into custody and placed under psychiatric evaluation according to FBI spokesman Gary Johnson. Flight 725 continued on to L.A. one hour after the diversion minus one crazy naked guy.

(Fox News)

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Passenger throws ice and grabs booty. Another satisfied customer.

Sounds to me like Jacob Kline had a nice flight on American Airlines when he travelled recently from Dallas to Charlotte. When Kline, who had been drinking rum-and-cokes on the flight, was refused a fourth drink he began to throw ice at other passengers. Kline also started moving about the cabin whistling and using profanity. After being repeatedly told to take his seat, Kline grabbed the "buttocks" of one of the flight attendants. Another passenger described only as "very large in size" helped out by sitting next to Kline and keeping him quiet. The flight crew requested an immediate landing in Charlotte where Kline was picked up by the authorities and charged with being intoxicated and disruptive in public and resisting a public officer. The worst part of this story is that Kline was travelling with his wife and two kids. I'm sure they're proud. Perhaps this is an instance where the group SAFER would be right in providing passengers pot to help calm them down.

(Via ABC News)

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Even more FAA inspections fallout

Just a few weeks after the Southwest Airlines inspection debacle, and just a day after American Airlines cancelled a slew of flights for mandatory inspections, Delta Air Lines is now joining the herd by cancelling 325 flights between today and tomorrow. The cancellations will allow for inspections of wiring bundles in their fleet of MD-80s similar to the inspections AA is doing. I'm getting the feeling that we're still just scratching the surface on this whole inspection deal. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone when congress drops the hammer on the FAA here in the near future and demands a rethinking into airworthiness inspection compliance and monitoring. Until then, be sure to check to see if your flight is running on time before you leave the house.

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Woman sues American Airlines after passenger ejaculates into her hair

Yes, you read that correctly. Centava Dozier, 21, of Harris County, Texas is alleging that after waking up from a nap on her American Airlines flight she found a "substance" in her hair, and a man masturbating in the seat next to her. Dozier has filed a lawsuit for $200,000 claiming the flight crew did nothing in response to her request for help. AA is countering saying they took appropriate action and that the "shooter" was arrested after landing. I hope she kept a sample as evidence.

American 777 flies transatlantic with only 5 passengers, Al Gore bursts into flames

In an apparent contest with Singapore Airlines to see who is the ultimate archenemy of the environment, American Airlines is under fire from the eco-group "Friends of Earth" for apparently flying a Boeing 777 from Chicago to London Heathrow with only 5 passengers on board. The "eco-scandal" as FOE calls it, was due to an earlier cancellation with all but the five remaining passengers being able to make other accommodations. The "obscene waste of fuel" was estimated to have created 43 tons of CO2 per passengers. American Airlines' response? "Die you miserable planet!!"

I hope they got upgraded to First Class.